


Living is Harder

by StarGirl077



Category: 18th & 19th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, F/F, F/M, I needed a lesbian ship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Relationship Tags to Be Added - Freeform, Second Generation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-08 09:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5492546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarGirl077/pseuds/StarGirl077
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Growing up a woman in the 1700s is hard. Being a Hamilton is harder.</p>
<p>A second generation fan fic about the life of Angelica Hamilton (and the other children of the revolutionaries).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Angelica Hamilton

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Sorry this chapter is so short. I needed to get started (I've written quite a bit of the middle but beginnings are hard for me). I plan on updating soon! I know the characters are young now but things will speed up (and grow up) fast! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it!

Angelica Hamilton tugs at her sleeves as she waits for a sign of the carriage. Her mother, Eliza, has forced her into “proper clothing”, a dress with large amounts of lace, and out of her cut jacket and coat. Her mother stands to her right in similar clothing and her brother Philip stands to her left.

“Quit that!” Philip hisses. “Before mother sees.”

“But this dress is so ungodly itchy!” Angelica hisses back.

“Do you  _ want _ to make a good impression?”

“I’m not the one who needs to suck up.  _ I  _ can’t become a senator. I can’t even vote. Remember?”

“At least you look pretty for once.”

At that, Angelica stomps hard on her brother’s foot.

“Jeez!” he yelps.

“There is nothing wrong with how I normally dress!”

In a flash, Eliza whips around to face both of her children head on. “If you two cannot behave yourselves, I’ll leave both of you behind when the family travels upstate for the summer.”

Both Philip and Angelica immediately get quiet, turning their faces towards the ground.

Tilting their chins up with her hands, Eliza places a quick kiss on both of their foreheads. “You know I love you both, but you’re not babies anymore. You’re members of this family and you represent your father in everything you do. Make him proud. Now quickly, straighten up, I think I hear the carriage approaching.”

\----------

Theodosia Burr quickly checks her appearance one last time before setting her hand mirror back on her dresser. It’s the first time in months she has worn something other than black. With one last deep breath, she walks from her room to the carriage where her father is waiting.

Neither Burr says anything on the ride; Theodosia looks out the window at the passing scenery, while her father’s stare seems to bore holes into the side of the carriage. She knows he resents having to ask for help, but he no longer has anyone else to turn to. Just as their carriage pulls up her father looks pointedly at her, to which she fixes a smile on her face before exiting the carriage.

\----------

“Thank you for this Eliza. I don’t know how to repay you.”

“It’s no trouble Aaron, really. I’m happy to do it. Alexander and I are here to support you and your family in whatever you need.”

“That’s very kind of you Eliza but I won’t impose on you any further than I already have.”

Angelica stops listening to the adults speak and focuses all her attention on the girl in front of her. Angelica runs through all the information she has been able to piece together about the Burrs. Senator Aaron Burr was elected in 1791, three years earlier, when he defeated her grandfather Philip Schuyler. He is a representative of the Democratic-Republican party, her father’s opposing party. And he just lost his wife, leaving him alone with a daughter he can not raise by himself.

As for Theodosia, Angelica knows very little. They had never met, but it was often suggested they should, as Theodosia was only a year older than herself. She has been told that Theodosia is here to learn the ways of women which, unfortunately for Angelica, means that she will have to undergo lessons from her mother as well. 

Angelica’s eyes analyze every inch of Theodosia in search for some imperfection to exploit. Yet they seem to come up empty. She too is dressed in nice clothing, but from the way she gracefully descended from her carriage, she is far more comfortable in dresses than Angelica. Even still, Angelica is determined to outshine her new competition.


	2. Miss Burr, Sir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring:  
> Lots of exposition (sorry)  
> The beginning of our main relationships!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a lot longer but it's unedited because it's 3 AM and I really need to get to sleep. there is mention of something that could be a panic attack in the beginning (it's ambiguous) so if that is sensitive feel free to skip ahead. I'm sorry if I get a little preachy towards the end. Hope you enjoy!

The Hamiltons are far from what Theodosia pictured. Her father has never spoken ill about Alexander, but Theodosia has come to understand when her father dislikes something or someone. He does not seem to extend this feeling towards Alexander’s wife, however, and with good reason. Eliza Hamilton is one of the most stunning women Theodosia has ever met. Not only is she beautiful, humble and exceptional in her wifely duties, she is intelligent and commands a great amount of respect from not only the women around her, but the men as well.

To her surprise, Theodosia comes to settle in nicely at the Hamilton’s estate. As the months pass, she often finds herself more at home with Eliza than with her increasingly distant father. She doesn’t have many run-ins with Alexander Hamilton, but when she does he is always polite and restrained.

Theodosia quickly becomes friends with the ever captivating, chivalrous and handsome Philip Hamilton. While she is tries to be reserved in his company, her father has warned against affections for any of the Hamilton boys, she cannot help but loosen up around him. Underneath his poised and gentlemanly airs, she finds a kind and loyal soul that she can confide in; someone who is always willing to listen. They talk about everything from politics, to gossip, to their parents. And when she is sad it is Philip whom she turns to.

It happens one day a few weeks into her training. She is retrieving a book from the Hamilton’s extensive library to practice her greek, when the loss of her mother hits her again. Racked with sobs she attempts to hide behind the sofa until her despair has passed. Unfortunately someone is occupying that space.

“Oh! I’m- I’m sorry.” She says between sobs. “I didn’t- didn’t see you- there. I’ll just- be- be going.”

“Theodosia?” Philip asks in surprise. “No. I was just reading. Sit. You’re obviously in distress. Is there anything I can do?”

Theodosia only manages to shake her head.

“Here.” He says patting the space next him. “Lay your head on my shoulder. Sometimes my brother James will have crying spells but if I can just talk to him, get him to focus, he feels better.”

So that’s what they do. Theodosia rests her head on Philip’s shoulder while he talks about his dreams, his family, his studies, and the wonderful books he has read. He must know why she is upset but he does not ring attention to it or try to assure her that everything will be okay. They stay that way until Theodosia can stand without feeling as though she might be blown over by a gust of wind.

Angelica Hamilton is another matter. As time passes it becomes clear that Theodosia and Angelica will be at odds for the remainder of her time in the Hamilton’s household. No matter what she does Theodosia can’t seem to befriend the younger girl. And the closer she becomes to Philip to more Angelica seems to hate her. Angelica is abrasive and loudmouthed, eager to debate with others and publicize her own opinions. Yet for all her annoying qualities, she is as intelligent as her parents and quite persuasive. She commands the same attention as any Hamilton even if that attention is not freely given. She speaks up for what she believes in, a quality that both irritates and intrigues Theodosia. Though at the moment it is far easier to discount any positive feelings for Angelica and just dislike her altogether.

\---------------

It is blatantly apparent that Theodosia is better at “womanly things” than Angelica. And what’s worse, her brother seems to favor sweet, demure, Theodosia to herself. Philip seems to be captivated by Theodosia's charms and spends less time climbing trees, rolling in the mud and roughhousing with her and more time taking long strolls through the garden with Theodosia. In spite of herself, she gets jealous. So whenever she can she can, she tries to get the upper hand on the older girl. Usually this happens with their studies. Angelica takes to challenging the older girl to debates, hoping that she will reveal her personal positions.

When she fails to engage Theodosia she resorts to badgering her brother instead. Philip often debates his positions with Angelica, playing devil’s advocate when their opinions are the same. Yet, because of his polite nature, he will not mention his positions in public. This becomes an issue between the two siblings.

Angelica and Philip are engaging in a quiet conversation with a well-known town minister when he voices his thoughts on the Washington administration.

“Well I daresay some of President Washington’s positions are just frightful. Do we not fight for freedom?” Asks Minister Castle

“Mm, yes sir.” Philip nods. Angelica glares at him, she knows he does not agree but he won’t speak up.

“If we don’t stand with our allies we’ll have none left. And then what will happen if Britain tries to invade us? The French won us the war after all.” Drones the minister.

“Well, sir” Angelica butts in. “It is true that we owe much of the war to French aid but to discount-”

Philip slaps his sister’s hand.

“Ow!” She hisses. Philip shakes his head slightly.

“Thank you for your time minister but I think our mother has called for us.” Philip lies.

“Why did you do that?” Angelica asks as she pulls Philip away from the conversation. “You know Minister Castle’s ideas about President Washington’s neutrality are ludicrous, yet you let him walk all over you- all over us. Why don’t you ever stand up for what you believe? If you stand for nothing--”

“I stand for lots of things Angelica. I stand for friendship, family and the equality of all. And I also stand for choosing your battles. You fight too often. If you keep on the way you’re going no one will listen to you, including me. And you have plenty of good ideas that need to be heard.” He said locking his eyes with hers. “Besides, Minister Castle is too old to hear anything we say anyway!”

And with that they both dissolve into giggles.

\---------------

They can both see when Philip’s affections for Theodosia become romantic. The development surprises neither girl, Theodosia is used to the attention boys her age; Angelica wonders that it didn’t happen sooner. Neither is delighted by the change either. Angelica knows that she will truly lose Philip if he chooses Theodosia. And there is too much bad blood between the girls to reconcile their differences. Theodosia has no amorous feelings for Philip and she worries that if she turns him down their friendship will shatter. She also knows that her father would greatly disapprove of being courted by one of the Hamilton boys, if she decided to indulge Philip’s fantasies. The three children watch as it unfolds. Angelica can feel her brother’s gentle soul pining away; he sits close to Theodosia in the library, but does not touch her. When they walk in the garden he shivers as her hand brushes his. Theodosia often looks up to find him staring at her, only to have him quickly look away. Finally after a month of this behavior both girls are ready to put an end to it, so eager in fact they decide to work together.

“You have to do something about that.” Angelica says after she plops down next to Theodosia on the couch. Philip has just been staring at the older girl for a near ten minutes.

“About what, Hamilton?” Theodosia asks giving Philip a sad look.

“Don’t play dumb, Burr. You’re too smart; it doesn’t suit you.”

“Was that a complement, Hamilton?”

“Don’t change the subject. We’re talking about Philip. You and Philip to be precise. Is it mutual?”

Theodosia doesn’t say anything but instead turns back to her book.

“That’s what I thought. Look, I know you two are friends, but I won’t have you string him along-”

“I’m not stringing anyone along. I didn’t ask for his affections.”

“It’s gone on for long enough.”

“So what are we going to do about it?”

“We? Who said anything about we?”

“Well I assumed that you had a plan seeing as how _you_ brought it up.”

“Well you know what they say about when you assume...”

Theodosia looks at Angelica quizzically.

“Nevermind. As it happens I have come up with a plan. It’s quite simple, you have to do something to make him not like you anymore.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

“I have a few ideas. Meet me in the garden tomorrow morning.”

\---------------

“That’s your big idea?” Theodosia asks incredulously.

“Have you got a better one, Burr?” Angelica counters.

“No.” Theodosia sighs.

“Well time to put the plan to action. Here he comes!”

“What, now? Hamilton!” But Angelica had already scrambled to her place in the top the garden’s only tree. Even if all didn’t go according to plan it would still be hilarious to watch.

“Philip!” Theodosia calls. “I’ve been looking for you!”

“Oh really?” Philip blushes

“I was thinking, I haven’t told you about my epiphany!” Theodosia exclaims with mock enthusiasm. “It happened while I was reading about greek society and politics. The greeks made all their citizens attend plays and I thought ‘what a waste of time’! What do the arts really do for our society? The are just frivolous expensive outings and they make their patrons lazy! If only people were more hard-working. I’m sure our economy would benefit.”

Theodosia stopped talking to see how she was doing. While Philip did have a confused look on his face, he did not look thoroughly repulsed. She would have to go further.

“And I was also pondering George Washington’s presidency. I’m not sure he’s the best fit for the office. I think someone, like that fellow Jefferson, would be better suited. No offense, but I think your father’s economic plan is one of the major failures this country has seen.

“Are you feeling well, Theodosia?” Philip asks concerned.

“I feel fine, Philip!” Theodosia lies. Honestly the whole act is repulsive. She’s surprised that Philip hasn’t run screaming from the garden. She won’t be able to keep it up for much longer.

“But the Greeks did get one thing right.” She stiffles a gag at the next words out of her mouth. “They only allowed the white men to vote. Obviously white men are the most educated and no one else could ever be worthy of gaining the vote.”

“Are you sure you haven’t come down with something?” Philip inquires again.

“Oh to Hell with all this!” Theodosia exclaims.

Angelica gasps and nearly falls out of her perch in the tree as Theodosia kisses Philip squarely on the mouth. It only takes a few seconds for the boy to pull away.

“Um...” Philip starts.

“Yeah...” Theodosia says timidly. Then she begins to giggle. And before they know it both Philip and Theodosia are on the ground rolling in laughter.

“Well I guess that’s a no!” Angelica chuckles dropping from the tree. She extends a hand to Theodosia and Philip helping them up.

“I should’ve known you were behind this. So all of that nonsense you were spouting-” Philip begins.

“Was to get you to give up your romantic affections for me, yes.” Theodosia assures him.

“But that last bit was all Theodosia.” Angelica concedes.

“I’m sorry about the past few weeks, guys.” Philip apologizes. “I guess I’ve been a bit of a lovesick fool. I promise there will be no more of it.”

Both Angelica and Theodosia snort.

“You could fall in love with the moon if it looked at you and smiled.” Angelica teases. They all dissolve into laughter again.

“Look, I’m supposed to have a Latin lesson in five minutes and my professor will not take kindly to my disheveled appearance. I’ll see you both after.” Philip announces rushing inside.

“First names?” Theodosia inquires after he leaves.

“What?” Anglica raises an eyebrow.

“You used my first name.”

“Don’t get used to it. Burr.” Angelica warns walking back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always feel free to comment, critique or leave Kudos! I don't know when I will post again but it will probably be after Boxing Day. I will try to make a regular schedule of posting but I can't guarantee anything.


	3. Dem-Reps Refuted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Happy New Year! Sorry this took so long.
> 
> A few notes:  
> I have not edited this as much as I would like so if there are any mistakes please let me know.  
> I don't know anything about economics so I'm sorry if that bit is completely off (feel free to correct me)  
> Also a few TW- Anxiety attacks, parental yelling, character death
> 
> I hope you Enjoy!

After the incident in the garden things start to change. The three spend more and more time together until they are virtually inseparable. Angelica finds that Theodosia can be a force to be reckoned with, under the right circumstances. Theodosia discovers that she has far more in common with Angelica than she previously thought possible. And when they do disagree, Philip is always present to sort them out. They become an unstoppable team. Angelica teaches Theodosia to come out of her shell, and with Theodosia’s help, she learns the art of being a woman, not that she ever grows fond of it. Combined, they grow to be educated, sharp, poised young adults- when required. Angelica hasn’t lost her sense of fire or adventure and leads her two comrades into trouble, but no one can say it isn’t enjoyable.

Three years pass in the blink of an eye, Angelica becoming more rebellious with each passing day. As all three continue their studies, they become more discontent with the state of the world. Philip advocates against slavery while Angelica and Theodosia protest for women's rights. They’ve taken to sneaking into Federalist and Democratic-Republican rallies. Angelica has never felt more alive than when she’s pushing through crowded streets at a demonstration or running home at night so as not to be caught by her parents. Lately she’s been hungering to do more.

“I’ve got a plan.” Angelica announces coming into the library.

“You’ve always got a plan.” Theodosia and Philip say not bothering to look up from their books.

“We’ve been going to these political rallies-” Angelica starts.

“Sneaking, more like.” Philip mutters.

“For months now, just watching. What if we actually did something?” Angelica continues unfazed.

“We’ve been over this. The only people who can debate are citizens who are eligible to vote. And even if we were of age, we can’t change the fact that we’re women.” Theodosia frowns.

“But what if we could?” Angelica proposes.

“Angelica I really-” Theodosia protests.

“It will be simple! We’ll go in disguise.”

“There is no disguise out there that will make you look like a man. You’re too...” Philip blushes.

“Well endowed?” Theodosia finishes. This time it’s Angelica’s turn to blush.

“Well no one can make you look three years older!” Angelica says, recovering. “You have too much of a baby face. Plus it doesn’t have to be all that convincing. Just enough so that they don’t throw us off stage. We just have to dress in men’s clothing, hide our hair and our... more womanly parts.”

“Binding...” Theodosia says quietly.

“You know about it?” Angelica asks excitedly.

“I-” Theodosia’s cheeks go red.

“You’ve done it!” Angelica exclaims.

Theodosia continues to blush and looks down at the table.

“Do you still have the material you used?”

“Yes.” Theodosia concedes.

“Well then we’ll use what you have. I’ll get some bandages from Dr. Maddox in case we need them. Philip can we borrow some of your smaller clothes?”

“Most of the clothes I outgrow get passed down to Alexander or James.” Philip replies.

“Well I’ll just have to steal them, won’t I?” Angelica smiles.

\---------------

A week later Angelica, Theodosia and Philip are standing in front of the town meeting house. Angelica and Theodosia were wearing breeches and a coat, their hair tied up and secured under a cap. They look like any other male New Yorkers. Today is the first rally of the year for the Democratic-Republican party, an open forum for the common people to voice their concerns and debate solutions, and the three children have every intention of arguing their points. Theodosia is particularly nervous; she knows the chance that her father is in attendance is very high. Yet she is the first to step forward. Better to go now before her better judgement can set in.

The three sign in as Theodore, Andrew and Philip Smith providing forged paperwork penned by Theodosia. After they are let into the main hall they wait. To all three’s displeasure, but not surprise, Aaron Burr walks out gracefully on to the stage and commences the meeting.

Men step forward on to the stage, voicing their concerns on a number issues, most of them about Alexander Hamilton’s financial debt plan.

Finally when Angelica feels she can not suppress the urge any longer she speaks up. A man on the stage is talking about the debt plan- again.

“I just don’t get all this malarky about “centralizing national debt”. Why should New York, or any state for that matter, the common people mind you, have to pay for debts owed by Massachusetts, or Delaware, or anywhere else? Isn’t taxation what we fought the British about?”

Before Burr can answer Angelica cuts in.

“No you blithering idiot!” She shouts from her place in the crowd. “We fought for taxation without representation. You have representation in the U.S. congress. He is standing before you, kindly taking your ludicrous questions even though he has answered the same ones about forty times now! He has the patience of a saint!”

Angelica makes her way to the stage and Theodosia and Philip follow her to the front but do not go up. Once on stage she continues with her tirade.

“So let me help him out a bit. Maybe if your _common man_ explains it to you, you will all get it through your thick skulls!”

Theodosia carefully watches her father as he studies the scene. Although his carefully crafted mask covers his face, Theodosia can see a look of puzzlement in his eyes. As if he were about to realize something but it was just out of his reach.

“Centralizing debt, in case you have been oblivious to this entire meeting, means that the states will help each other pay for the debt caused by our nation’s revolution. As a _union_. We got into this war together and we should pay for it together.” Angelica continues. “By being able to centralize national debt we are able to tax all of America’s citizens allowing for taxes to be lower, and debts to be paid off faster, so that we can truly start to build a successful economy.”

The man from earlier tries to interject.

“And don’t try to tell me that some states would have no debts. The only reason they are in that position is because they don’t pay for labor.”

Theodosia can feel Angelica coming to her main argument. Her father hasn’t stepped in yet which means that he is actually engaged in Angelica’s debate. But Theodosia can’t shake the growing knot in her chest.

“Slavery, in my opinion is an appalling practice- but my opinion doesn’t matter because slavery is unconstitutional.”

There was muttering in the crowd now. The phrase federalist pig reaches Philip and Theodosia's ears. Theodosia wants to turn and glare at Angelica’s accuser, as Philip does, but all she can do is hunker closer to the older boy.

“You go get ‘em Angie- I mean Andrew!” Philip yells from the crowd. Angelica doesn’t seem to notice.

“As people who pride yourselves on sticking to the letter of the law, I think you are failing quite miserably. The eighth amendment in the Bill of Rights, a document championed by your very own James Madison, provides that ‘cruel and unusual punishments shall not be inflicted’. Is Slavery not a cruel punishment, hard labor with no pay, no thanks, poor housing and little to eat? The fifth amendment provides that one will not ‘be deprived of life, liberty, or the pursuit of happiness without due process of law’. What have these people done but worked and served the white man? Were they ever shown a courtroom or a jury? It seems to me that their only crime was that they were born.” Angelica’s voice gets quieter as she truly brings her point home. The crowd is restless and angered but she can still be heard. “I seem to recall, Thomas Jefferson, this party’s founder, using the exact phrase ‘life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness’ when referring to all men being created equal. If he had meant all white men, would he not have written that phrase instead? I dream of a day when that phrase will include everyone- men, women, children, slaves, freemen, old men, young men, immigrants, the rich, the poor.”

The words have barely escaped her mouth when a tomato comes careening from the crowd and knocks her from her feet. The crowd breaks into hysterics but not before Aaron burr gets a glimpse of the long brown hair that was knocked loose when Angelica fell. Both their eyes lock but before Aaron can confront her a strangled cry rips through the air.

\---------------

After the unrest in the crowd begins to build, Theodosia’s chest tightens more and more. She just knows that something bad is going to happen. When the tomato flies through the air and she sees Angelica’s hair fall down she looses it.

She doesn’t know where she is.  All she can see are blurry figures above her. And then she can’t see at all.

\---------------

Her mother is dying. She knows that even if her father won’t tell her anything. Her mother can’t gets paler and paler by the day until she can’t go out of the house and now they’ve all been called to her bedside. The doctor has left to give them alone time; this is how Theodosia knows the end is really near. Her father is holding her mother’s hand and Theodosia has climbed into bed with her.

Aaron leans in to give her mother one last kiss. He whispers something in her ear and she smiles. Then she turns to Theodosia.

“I love you Theo, don’t ever forget that. You are the star in my sky. I love you both so much. I love you to the moon and back.”

“I love you to the moon and back.” They both repeat.

“I love you infinity times to the moon and back.” Theodosia says initiating the old game they used to play.

“I love you infinity times infinity times to the moon and back.” Her mother says taking the bait.

“I love you infinity squared to the moon and back.” Theodosia smiles.

“I love you infinity times infinity times infinity... infinity... infinity...”

Suddenly her mother isn’t breathing.

“Momma! Momma come back! Help! Help papa, help!”

“Theodosia there is nothing more to do. She is in a better place now.”

All Theodosia can do is scream.

\---------------

Theodosia realizes that someone is screaming. She thinks it might be her, but she’s not sure. Right now it’s the only thing she can focus on so she hope it doesn’t stop.

When she opens her eyes again, Angelica’s face swims into focus above her. Philip has placed her on the edge of the stage so that she won’t be trampled.

“Theo, Theodosia, Theodosia, can you hear me? It’s going to be alright. You’re okay. You’re in New York City at a political rally.”

Theodosia nods slowly. She stops screaming.

“Good. Can you tell me five things you see?”

“Ceiling. Stage. Stairs. Philip. You.” When did Angelica get so good at calming her?

“Good. What are four things you hear?”

“Yelling, my voice, breathing-”

“What are you three doing here?” Aaron Burr is livid. Angelica can’t remember a time she saw him display his emotions so vividly.

“My father” Theodosia finishes.

“Sir, we can explain-” Philip begins.

“You damn well better be able to explain!” Burr demands.

“But right now we need to help your daughter.” Angelica’s voice pierces through. “Can you tell me three things you feel?”

“Floorboards, my clothes, you.” She says reaching up to touch Angelica’s neck. She keeps her hand there as Angelica asks her last question.

“What are two things you smell?”

“Tomato. And anger.”

Angelica lets out a relieved laugh. Theodosia smiles up at her. Angelica picks herself up from her position on the floor.

“Now sir, we can explain.”

\------------

Burr manages to calm the crowd and decides to reconvene the rally a week later. He then proceeds to drag the three children to his home.

They ride back is uncomfortable. Theodosia thinks she would cry, but Angelica’s hand is intertwined in hers and it seems to give her more strength. All four passengers are quiet until they reach the Burr residence. It has since become very dark and Angelica knows her mother will be looking for her and her brother.

The door swings shut quietly behind them. Silence ensues. Aaron Burr has his back to three children. The Hamiltons unused to the silence, their father being loud in his anger, start to fidget.

When her father turns to face them, Theodosia is ready. His face is carefully masked but the anger in his voice breaks through from time to time.

“What was the meaning of this?” He asks, his calm tone makes Angelica and Philip fidget even more. “Do you realize that you could have done? You made a fool of yourselves! You could have jeopardized my position! My entire career!”

“We’re truly sorry Mr. Burr, we just wanted a chance to voice our opinions.” Philip replies.

“It is not your place to voice your opinions! You are children. You are meant to follow rules and learn before before you open your mouths!” His anger begins to dissipate and forms into a new emotion, concern. “What if I hadn’t been there? What if the crowd had gotten violent and I hadn’t been there? I thought you knew better than this Theodosia.”

“We’re sorry, papa. It won’t happen again.”

“It damned well better not!” All the concern from earlier fades back into anger.

At that moment the door to the study opens and a servant enters.

“I’m sorry to disturb sir, but there is a woman who wants to see you. She is very-” The servant begins.

Eliza Hamilton pushes past the servant.

“Persistent.” He finishes and exits the room.

“Oh thank God, Aaron! I was so worried! So late and not a word. You should have told me they were with you.” Eliza’s worried face relaxes as she sees Angelica and Philip.

“They were not with me Eliza. They decided to illegally attend the Democratic-Republican rally this afternoon and make a spectacle of themselves.”

“Is this true?” Eliza’s piercing stare bores into Philip and Angelica.

All three children nod silently.

“Obviously this behavior is irresponsible and reckless. I brought them home with me to deal with them.”

“Deal with them?” Eliza asks, her piercing stare now turned towards Aaron. “And how do you intend to deal with _my_ children, Mr. Burr? I have no doubt that you had the best intentions, but it is for me to decide how to punish my children, not you. Now we have obviously overstayed our welcome, so we will be leaving. Say goodbye to Theodosia.”

“Goodbye.” They mutter under their breath.

“I hope you don’t take this a reflection on yourself Mrs. Hamilton, but Theodosia will no longer be attending lessons at your house.” Aaron announces.

All three children gasp. They know what he isn’t saying. Theodosia isn’t allowed to see the Hamilton children any longer.

“If that is what you wish.” Eliza replies her voice devoid of emotion. “Come Angelica, Philip.”

As Angelica walks out of the Burr residence she takes one last look at Theodosia. She tries to remember the look of her eyes forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad you kept reading! I finally outlined this work and I think- I'm not entirely sure- that I will have 11 chapters. But don't worry I'm definitely writing more Hamilton after this.


	4. Raise a Fist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this is so late. I am back in the swing of things at school so updates will probably be less frequent (unless I'm seriously procrastinating). Keep in mind I don't have a Beta and it's 4 AM so this probably needs a lot more editing than it got.  
> I did do research for this chapter (I always do research) but lesbians "didn't exists" (air quotes) pre-1900s so there wasn't a lot to go on in the way of time period appropriate homophobic slurs.  
> TW For physical fighting and homophobic slurs

When the Hamiltons return home Philip and Angelica are sent straight to bed. Angelica wakes up to a knock on her door, her mother and brother stand in the doorframe. Angelica foggily wonders what they could both want, then she remembers.  _ Oh shit. _

Philip takes a seat next to Angelica and her mother sits down facing the two of them.

“I’m sorry to do this so early in the morning but we have a nice surprise planned and I don’t want to ruin it later.” Eliza starts.

Philip nods. Angelica just stares at her mother. Mornings have never been her strong suit.

“What were you thinking?” Her voice is calm, soft, questioning, not demanding.

“It was my idea.” Angelica says. “I just wanted to be apart of something momma. I’m never allowed to do anything and I never will be if I don’t speak up for myself.”

“Thank you for your candor Angelica. What about you Philip?” Eliza inquires.

“I- I think I wanted the same. I’m tired of feeling older and being in a child’s body.”

“Well, your father and I have talked, and we agree that some form of punishment should be taken. You should know that you are not being punished for your opinions or for speaking out, rather the manner in which you went about doing so. Going, illegally, to your opposing party’s rally to stir up trouble- it’s not smart. I think it’s the most stupid and rash thing the two of you have ever done.”

Philip and Eliza look down into their laps.

“Now about punishment. You’re both to stay here- indefinitely. The only time you will leave the house is with an older member of the family. Philip we have also taken your horse away indefinitely. Angelica you are to assist me when you are not at your studies, and you will have to wear proper clothes, no breeches. After a few weeks we can talk about the reinstatement of privileges.”

Both children give a short nod. There is a feeling that both children got off easier than expected. The name of Theodosia Burr hangs silently between all three. 

Eliza gives her daughter a small sad smile. “You have the same fire as your father. Just beware that it doesn’t consume you.”

\---------------

When Angelica finally makes her way downstairs, dressed in a loose plain dress, her family has already assembled to eat breakfast. Her father is noticeably present; he usually prefers to eat in his study. She is about to choose the seat across from Philip when hands come up to cover her eyes.

“Guess who?” says a voice behind her head.

Angelica immediately wheels around. “Aunt Angie!” She squeals. Both Angelicas embrace for a long while. “Oh I’ve missed you so much Angie.”

Angelica Schuyler Church pulls out of the hug to look at her niece. “And I’ve missed you too. You’ve gotten so big! I always love seeing a letter from you. And your writing has gotten so much better!”

“Oh well, thank you.” Angelica blushes. She values praise from her aunt almost as much as when it comes from her father.

The older Angelica pulls her niece in closer. “I heard what you did yesterday.” She whispers. “Don’t tell anyone but I’m rather proud of you. And don’t tell him, but I think your father is too.”

The younger Angelica is completely red from pride and embarrassment when she turns back to grab the seat across from her brother. Everyone is settled when Alexander speaks.

“We have a few announcements. The first, Eliza do you want...?” He says taking her hand. She shakes her head. “Eliza and I will be welcoming a new little one into the world in the fall.”

Smiles and cheers erupt all around the table.

“Does that mean that I’m going to be a big brother?” Asks John Church their smallest child.

“Yes, John.” Their mother smiles.

Philip and Angelica roll their eyes at each other. They're happy for their parents but they know from experience that being a big sibling isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

“Second,” Their father continues. “Angelica has returned from England. She and her daughter Kitty will be staying with us while Uncle John sets up his estate.”

Angelica nearly spits out her water.

“Did you just say Kitty? As in Catherine Church?” Angelica asks in shock and disbelief.

“I don’t believe you have another cousin named Kitty.” Says a voice from behind. “Got a problem,  _ Angie _ ?”

Angelica just groans. Of course she has a problem. Catherine and Angelica have never gotten along, their relationship almost the complete opposite of their mothers. Catherine is everything Angelica despises- girly, materialistic, snobbish and cold. 

“I see someone had a late start. So nice of you to finally grace us with your presence.” The older Angelica chides her daughter. “Come, sit. And do try to be civil.”

The girls glare at each other. If looks could kill the entire table would be dead by the sheer magnitude of daggers coming from both girls’ eyes.

Philip sighs. He has just gotten used to the peace between Angelica and Theodosia. Now he is going to have to start all over again.

\---------------

Over the next few weeks, Angelica does her chores willingly if only to escape Catherine. Her mother is impressed by the change in her demeanor and eventually allows Angelica and Philip off probation, sooner than she would have expected. 

Angelica Church having taken the guest room, leaves Catherine to share Angelica Hamilton’s bedroom. Catherine soon makes room for all of her frivolous trinkets as Angelica counts the days until they leave for their permanent home in upstate New York.

Philip having a good relationship with both girls finds himself in the middle more often than he would like.

\---------------

“I swear if I have to spend  _ one  _ more night with that evil, awful girl I’m going to scream!” Angelica exclaims.

“Angie, you’re already screaming, and I just woke up. Could you lower your voice? I think I’m getting a headache.” Philip complains.

“Oh you’re no help! Of course you’d pick her side!”

“How am I- I’m not picking anyone’s-” Angelica rushes from his room. “Angie!”

“Ugh.” He groans and falls back on his pillows.

\---------------

Later he’s walking in the garden when Catherine comes up behind him.

“She is insufferable! I cannot wait until we leave for father’s home!” She huffs.

“Well, I like having you here Kitty. But could you, you know, not talk so loud? My head is pounding.”

“Oh so you have time for her but not for me? I see how it is.”

Philip doesn’t even bother calling after her. This has gone too far. He has to do something today.

\---------------

The older Angelica and his mother are in the parlor chatting and drinking tea when Philip bursts into the room.

“You have to do something about your daughters!” He exclaims.

“Philip? Are you alright?” Angelica raises an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry Aunt Angie, but I just can’t take it anymore. They’re driving me mad! I’m surprised they haven’t driven anyone else insane.”

“They’re annoying to say the least.” Agrees Eliza. “We were like that when we were younger.”

“Oh that was so long ago. I couldn’t stand you then.” Angelica laughs. “I couldn’t believe that you had ruined my chances at being an only child.”

“Wait. What?” Philip is more confused than ever. “You didn’t like each other? When did you ever not like each other? You’re as close as can be.”

“That wasn’t always the case.” Eliza says smiling.

“What happened?” Philip inquires.

“Peggy.” They reply in unison.

“She has this... peacemaking quality. She allowed us to see each other from a different perspective. Something I see in you.” Eliza tells him.

“Well neither of us certainly got it. Me especially. I couldn’t make peace with an olive branch.” Angelica laughs.

“So what you’re saying is...” Philip asks.

“You have to help them fix it.” Eliza smiles.

Philip sighs and exits the room.

\---------------

Philip decides to take his chance when the three are sent to the apothecary’s shop for a cough remedy; James contracted a minor cold earlier that week. His mother had insisted that all three of them go together, much to everyone’s displeasure, giving Philip a pointed look as she did so.

They decide to walk because Kitty isn’t fond of horses. Angelica mutters that it’s because she can’t properly ride one, to which Kitty’s face goes red. After a few more quipps about clothing- Angelica thinks Kitty’s dress is extravagant; Kitty can’t understand how Angelica could be seen walking around in breeches- both girls decide to take the rest of the walk in silence.

They are approaching the middle of town when they are confronted by two boys.

“That’s the one I was telling you about.” Whispers one to another pointing directly to Angelica.

“The man-girl?” Asks the other in disgust and excitement.

“What did you say?” Kitty’s tone is calm but there is fire in her eyes

“They’re not worth it Catherine. Come on. Dr. Maddox’s shop is this way.” Angelica drags the other girl in the direction of the apothecary.

\---------------

Angelica hopes that the offending boys won’t be in the square by the time they leave the Doctor’s shop. She hopes in vain. There they are, at the edge of the square, the boy who pointed at her standing to the right.

Angelica hurries quickly past, keeping her head down, hoping that they don’t notice her.

“Where are you headed dressed like that?” The boy on the left says grabbing her arm.

“Don’t touch me.” Angelica hisses ripping her arm out of the boy’s grip.

“What did you just say about my cousin?” Kitty demands striding over to face the boys.

“Catherine, please.” Angelica begs. She has heard slander like this before from other boys; she doesn't want to make a bigger deal of it than it already is.

“No Angie, I want to hear what these boys have to say.” She says turning and facing them head on. “Please, repeat yourself.”

“He said,” pipes the boy on the right. “That any girl who parades in breeches like that ought to be ashamed of herself.”

“Mm.” Kitty says thinking. “You want to go and say that to her face like a  _ real  _ man?” Kitty challenges.

“Please Kitty. Let's go home.” Angelica pleads tugging on the hem of Kitty’s sleeve.

“Oh I see. Not so brave when it’s an even fight.” Kitty spits.

“That Tommy doesn't deserve any of my respect. I won't even deign to talk to her.” The second boy exclaims.

“Now I know you didn't just say that.” Kitty says, livid. “You want to talk about something,  _ Charles Lee Jr.? _ ”

Angelica and Philip both gasp. They’ve seen this boy before in Democratic-Republican rallies but never did they dream that he was Charles Lee’s son.

“I'll give you something to talk about.” Kitty continues unphased. “How about the fact that your father is a no good, turncoat, scoundrel who-”

Kitty can't finish her sentence. At that moment Lee throws a punch aimed directly for her nose. Kitty, to everyone’s surprise manages to block the punch easily with one hand. In one fluid motion she has his hand locked in the crook of her elbow as she begins to pull his fingers back.

“Didn't your father ever tell you never to hit a girl? Probably not, seeing as how he never knew the meaning of honor.” She says pulling his middle finger back until he cries out.

Kitty releases his hand and throws a powerful punch aimed at his solar plexus. Lee stumbles backwards a few feet winded. Seeing this the boy closest to Angelica throws a punch towards her face. Luckily, Angelica skilled in the art of wrestling after multiple occasions of playing with her brothers, blocks the punch with ease. She quickly kicks up with her foot landing a hard shot the the boy’s groin. Noticing Philip’s clenched hands both boys begin to back up and soon break into a run.

“Yeah run on home like your daddy!” Kitty jeers.

“Don't feel too bad about getting bested by a girl Lee! I'm only a Tommy, right? Angelica taunts.

After they disappear into the distance all joking and smiles dissolve from Angelica’s face. She doesn't want to admit that words, even spoken by an idiot, can be hurtful.

Instead of thinking about Lee, she turns to kitty.

“How- Why did you do that? You didn’t have to provoke them on my account.” She says quietly.

“My mother taught me that when Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence he meant everyone when he said ‘all men are created equal’. She also taught me that everyone truly did mean everyone, not just some old white men sitting around a table making laws, and that politeness and courtesy should be shown to all people- except idiots. And you’re not the only one with a brother.” Kitty replies. “Besides, only I get to call your clothes ugly and shameful.” And with a smile Kitty runs off towards the Hamilton estate, almost begging Angelica to chase her.

“Come back here Catherine Church! You're not getting away with that that easily.” Angelica breaks out into a run after her.

After the girls are far in the distance Philip sighs. “I guess that's progress.” And walks back to the house enjoying some much needed peace and quiet.


	5. The Schuyler Cousins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't plan on writing this chapter it just happened. Kitty kept tugging on my sleeve. It's pretty fluffy but there's angst too. Also it isn't edited because I'm lazy and it's hard to edit when you're supposed to listening to a lecture in American Government (I wanted a lot more A. Ham but got mostly stuff about my home state).   
> Anyway I hope you enjoy! I promise a chapter with Theo is coming soon!

The next few months pass without incident. Kitty and Angelica still disagree more often than not, but they can stand to be in the same room with each other. In March, Angelica Schuyler Church announces that her husband has successfully completed preparations for their estate and that she and Kitty will soon be off to join him. Much to everyone’s surprise, Kitty does not seem overjoyed at the news. In fact, Angelica notices the smallest of pouts on her lips when the subject is mentioned at dinner.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Aren’t you going to rejoice? You can finally be rid of this ‘dingy townhome’.” Angelica goads her.

“It’s not all that dingy.” Kitty mutters.

Angelica gives her a quizzical look and is about to open her mouth again when Philip squeezes her arm and gives her a small shake of his head.

Angelica shrugs and turns to her aunt for a rousing conversation on women’s rights. The older Angelica plays devil’s advocate so that the girl can build stronger arguments and debate skills. Alexander listens in nodding and giving praise when his daughter makes a particularly excellent point. Everyone is so caught up in the game that they don’t notice Kitty leave and retire to her room.

“Alright you two. I think that’s enough debate for tonight.” Eliza interrupts. “John Church you are up way past your bedtime. Time to go wash up.”

“But I wanna stay up wif da big kids!” John protests.

“No one is staying up. Everyone upstairs and to bed.” Groans from escape from the older children. “I’ll be up in a while and I want to see lights out.”

The children line up in front of their parents to get good night hugs and kisses. John Church is first, Alexander has to pick him up so that Eliza can reach him and both parents kiss his forehead before placing him on the stairs. James is next. He stands on his tiptoes and kisses his mother’s cheek and belly before hugging both his parents. Alexander Jr., who had initially skipped this nightly ritual, wanting to be impressive in front of his aunt, had eventually given in. He stands before his parents as he allows his mother to place a kiss on his cheek and receive a hug from his father. Angelica is next, giving a quick hug to her aunt before standing on her tiptoes to hug her father and give him a peck on the cheek. She takes great care in hugging her mother, careful not to squeeze her slightly protruding belly. Suddenly her mother grabs her hand.

“Feel that.” Eliza places Angelica’s hand on her stomach. “Do you feel that? That’s your sibling.”

Angelica feels a light thud where her hand is. For a moment she just stares at her hand in awe. When mother was pregnant with John she had been too little to understand it all.

“One day, Angie, you’ll be in my position and it will be my hand on your belly.” 

Angelica takes her hand off her mother’s stomach and gives her a quick kiss before heading upstairs. Somehow she doesn’t think her mother will ever get the chance to be in her position.

\---------------

When Angelica reaches her bedroom she tiptoes around so as not to wake Kitty. She is halfway undressed in the dark room when Kitty speaks.

“You can turn on a light you know.”

“Jesus Catherine!” Angelica jumps a few feet into the air. “You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“I’m just saying you don’t have to tiptoe around. I’m awake.”

“Well that’s fairly obvious seeing as how you startled me half to death.” Angelica huffs. “Why are you awake anyway? I thought you went to bed a few hours ago.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Oh, finally using that brain of yours for something other than thinking about boys?” Angelica lights a candle on the desk in the corner of her room and can just make out the flash of anger in Kitty’s eyes. 

“This is serious, Angelica. I don’t expect someone, as spoiled as you are, to understand.”

“Obviously our definitions of spoiled vary quite dramatically; I would say you are the spoiled one in this equation my dear.”

“Spoiled with love!” Kitty’s voice is angry but her eyes are beginning to well with tears. “I may have money and riches but I do not have great supply of love you receive on a daily basis. Your mother and father shower you with affection. You have a good relationship with all your brothers- well maybe not Alexander- but certainly with the rest. And you’ve never had to move across the world, never been expected to be anything more or less than who you are. You are spoiled in these ways and you often take them for granted.”

“Certainly your parents show you the same affection that mine show me?”

“There is no doubt in my mind that my mother loves me but she has never showered me with the same praise she shows you. I am too frivolous for her tastes. My father is a different matter. He is a distant man. Her prefers solitude and silence; he does not show anyone the same love that your father shows you. Yet I know he loves me in his own way. I just wish I could see it more.”

“This can’t all be from what happened tonight. What is really going on? What set you off?”

“I just don’t want to start all over again in a new city. I left all my friends in London and I have finally grown accustomed to the people here. I don’t want to move to a place where the only people I know are my family.”

“That’s all the people you knew here.”

“But you’re my cousins. You’re my age. Philip, my brother, is so much older than I. I’ll have no one, no society, no one my age- I don’t want to leave.”

The last comment shocks Angelica so much she nearly drops the candle in her hand. She makes no quipps, no allusions to the fact that Kitty has seemed to hate it here. Instead Angelica stares at Kitty as she picks at her fingernails.

“Have you talked to your mother about all this?” Angelica asks finally.

“No. I’m supposed to be a lady, to do what I’m told and be glad about it. My mother believes strongly in women’s rights But I often don’t feel that I can exercise mine in my own household. I’m supposed to look pretty- be seen but not heard. I’m a child; I have no say in this part of my life.” Kitty’s voice is more defeated than Angelica has ever heard it. She starts to realize that there is more depth to Catherine Church than just the carefully crafted “Kitty” mask she shows to the world.

“But you do have a say. You have to have a say. If you are this unhappy with the way your life is going you have to speak up. You have to fight. And I’m going to help you.” She adds the last part without thinking. After all, Kitty fought for her when Lee attacked her. Angelica can’t sit by and watch Kitty be ensnared by society and hopelessness.

“How are you going to do that?”

“Well first I can talk to our mothers and arrange for you to stay a bit longer. Just long enough until Angelica can settle herself into your new home. Then we can all travel together to get you settled. The family can stay a while so you aren’t completely alone in a new setting.” Angelica says determined.

“Why are you doing this for me? We’ve never gotten along.” Kitty asks bemused.

“Why did you fight for me that day with Lee? I don’t know why you opened up to me, of all people, but I know you need someone. And you are family. As much as I may not like you all the time I still love you.” Angelica has moved to sit next to Kitty on the bed.

“I love you too. I may not like you all the time either, but I do love you.” Kitty admits. “Um, Angie...?”

“Yeah, Cat?” The new nickname rolls off Angelica’s tongue and she can see Kitty smile.

“Um, is what the boys were saying that day true?” Kitty’s next words come in a rush. “I mean you don’t have to tell me and I don’t care or anything I just wanted to know because I want to get to know you better if you’re going to be doing all this for me but I really don’t care I’m sorry I asked.”

“I don’t know.” Angelica doesn’t expect herself to admit it aloud, especially not to Kitty. “I mean I’m obviously not like other girls our age but- I don’t know. I think so.” The last sentence is barely audible. The admission feels both like a weight has been lifted from her chest and like the weight of the world has fallen on her shoulders. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to know. I’m sorry I asked. It’s really none of my business.” Kitty says hastily. “But you should know that I really don’t care. And if you ever need someone to talk to- all I’m saying is I can be here for you too.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

Angelica blows out the candle and finishes dressing in the dark. She wonders about what else Kitty has hidden under her mask; how she could’ve been so blind to the depth of the person she’d been sharing a room with for the past few months.

\---------------

The next day before Kitty rises Angelica does just as she promised. She finds her mother and aunt enjoying tea in the parlor.

“I need speak with you both if you’ll lend me the time.” Angelica begins.

“What do you need Angelica?” Eliza asks.

“It’s about Kitty.” 

Eliza lets out a barely audible sigh.

“It’s nothing bad actually.” Angelica says plunging in. “I would like to ask if she could stay longer.”

“What?” Both the older Angelica and Eliza gasp.

“We were talking last night and I believe that she would like to stay here a bit longer. You see she doesn’t want to be cut off from society and people her own age when she leaves for your new estate.”

“And why isn’t she telling me this herself?” The older Angelica inquires.

“Well I don’t think she believes she has any say in her own affairs.” Angelica tries to keep her tone even but she can’t hide her anger at her aunt. Obviously had Angelica instilled the same principles about freedom in Kitty that she did in her niece, Kitty would be able to articulate her feelings to her mother herself. “She thinks that because she needs to be a lady she can’t speak up for herself. She believes she should be seen and not heard.”

“I- I didn’t know. She’s never told me any of this.” Angelica looks genuinely saddened and shocked by the news.

“I think she’s a bit jealous of the attention you show me. I don’t think she feels worthy of praise because she’s more materialistic than us.”

Eliza has taken her sister’s hand. A look of guilt has overtaken the older Angelica’s face. “I need to have a long conversation with my daughter when she wakes up. If she still feels as she did last night then she can stay on with you all for a while- if that’s okay with you Eliza.”

“Of course. It would be no trouble.” Eliza agrees.

“Thank you for telling me all of this Angelica.” The younger Angelica takes this as her cue to leave. She goes to the garden to write and sit under the shade of the tree.

\---------------

“My mother came to talk to me,” Kitty isn’t angry as Angelica thought she might be. She got angry and carried away in telling her aunt all of the things Kitty had told her last night.

“How did that go?” Angelica asks worried.

“It went. She apologized and promised to make sure I feel the love that she holds in her heart for me. She promised me that I do have a say in our affairs and that if I am unhappy I should never hesitate to speak up.” Kitty takes a seat on the other side of Angelica underneath the shade of the tree.

“You don’t sound too convinced.”

“I love my mother. I admire her to no end. She is brilliant and courageous. But sometimes I believe she is a better revolutionary than she is a mother. I hear how Eliza describes their younger years, how great a big sister she is, how protective. But I also think there is a difference between being a good older sister and a good mother.”

Silence falls between the girls as they both enjoy the quiet and unusually temperate weather.


	6. Your Wing Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while! My RL has been quite hectic and drum roll please... I got to see the show! It was absolutely as fabulous as you think it is. Anyway I promise I haven't given up on this fic. I'm still writing, even if it's taking me forever. Be patient; I know where this one is going. As always I haven't edited as much as I should. Bear with me.  
> TW for profanity and coming out.  
> Thank you for staying with me!
> 
> P.S. feel free to hmu on tumblr if you want to talk about the show or anything really.

At the end of March, Angelica receives the worst news she’s ever gotten. It happens on the last day of her aunt’s stay. The Hamiltons spare no expense, their last dinner together is exquisite. The long table in the dining room is set with a long table runner, their most elegant candles arranged on the table. The French imported foie gras is already set on the table. Angelica can tell it will be a long meal- the table has been set for four courses. After foie gras, the hamilton’s servants clear the table and place steaming roast pheasant and turkey stuffed with apple surrounded by potatoes, onions and carrots on either side of the table. Accompanying the dish is corn pudding and two steaming loaves of fresh bread. After finishing the third course, sticky toffee pudding, cheese is placed on the table as Angelica makes a toast.

“I hear we have some exciting news this evening. I have been saving this treat for such an occasion.” Angelica produces a hard, dark brown sweet smelling substance out of the kitchen. “It is all the rage in France. They call it  _ chocolat _ .”

The squares of  _ chocolat _ are passed around finally reaching Angelica and Philip.

“Eat it.” Kitty urges the siblings. “You’ll love it.”

Angelica sniffs the sweet before eating it. She’s not tentative but she wants savor every minute of this new experience. After thoroughly inspecting the  _ chocolat _ , she takes a bite. “It’s extraordinary.”

Kitty smiles and opens her mouth to reply but she stops when Eliza stands up to speak.

“We have much to celebrate tonight.” She begins. “Angelica and her husband have finally made  a home for themselves in upstate New York. Kitty will be staying on with us in her schooling until the Churches become more settled.”

Cheers can be heard all around the table. Kitty and Angelica share a smile amongst themselves.

“I hear also that the lovely, young Philip Hamilton has gained entrance into King’s College with the city’s finest and brightest.”

All the air feels like it is being sucked out Angelica’s chest. She immediately reaches for Philip only to find him on his feet about to make a speech. Instead she finds Kitty’s hand and squeezes her eyes shut trying to focus on her breathing. 

_ Philip. Philip in college. Philip sending his next few years away from the family, away from her.  _ She thinks.  _ Did he know? Did he know and not tell me? Why would he keep this from me? I didn’t even know he applied! Why didn’t he tell me? _

She doesn't hear most of what Philip says. Instead she stares at a spot on the wall across from her trying not to think of anything. After he finishes she quietly excuses herself and slips into her bedroom. 

\---------------

“Come on Angie! We’re celebrating! Your father’s allowing us to drink Whiskey and Philip-” Kitty, with cheeks already flushed and speech slightly slurred, comes to a stop mid sentence at the sight of her cousin.

Angelica’s form is almost flat against the headboard of her bed. Her knees are pressed tightly into her chest, her head resting face down on top of them. 

“Oh...” Kitty trails off not able to think of anything more profound in her inebriated state.

Angelica weakly lifts her head. Her eyes are puffy and red. She tries to put a good natured smile on her face but fails. It takes her a while to croak out a response. “I don’t really feel like going, Cat. Give them my regards will you?”

“Well I can see you aren’t up to going. What’s wrong?” Kitty takes a seat on the edge of Angelica’s bed, far enough so that she doesn’t violate her space but close enough to seem supportive.

“I just- why didn’t he tell me?” Angelica looks up from her knees and into Kitty’s eyes.

“Tell you what?” 

“Tell me that he was going to King’s?” She pauses but not long enough for Kitty to formulate a response. “I mean I knew this was going to happen eventually- I just didn’t know eventually was now. I just can’t believe I’m losing my best friend for the next few years.”

“You’re not going to lose Philip- he’s just going to school.”

“But he’s staying at school. I know my father. He’ll want Philip to have the best college experience money can offer. Plus who wants to hang out with their kid sister when they could be with their school friends?”

“First of all, you’re not his kid sister you’re only” Kitty pauses to count on her fingers “one year younger than him. And second, Philip loves you too much to replace you.”

“I’m just so afraid I’ll be alone here. No one understands me quite like Philip does. And my brothers are so much younger than me.”

“You’ve got me.” Kitty says as she scoots a bit closer to Angelica.

“But you’re temporary. You have to go home at some point.”

Angelica is right about that. Kitty does have to go ‘home’ at some point, which is something she’d rather not think about at the moment, not with such a nice buzz clouding her head. So instead she redirects the conversation.

“You need a girlfriend.”

The red in Angelica’s face is now in her cheeks.

“I think that came out a little wrong.” Kitty says bewildered. The alcohol has obviously affected her more than she expected. “But really, Girl. Friend.”

“And how do you propose I do that? Sodomy is against the law. Not to mention damnable.”

“Fuck ‘em all!” She pauses again to think about the words that just came out of her mouth. “Not literally. Unless you want to, in which case go for it.”

Angelica just glares at her cousin. But there is the faintest of smiles playing around her lips.

“I’m sorry. I’m a bit drunk.” She pauses yet again and starts to pace around the room. She screws her face up in an attempt to think more clearly. “Oh wait! Didn’t you have that friend? Oh, what was her name? I used to hear stories about the three of you sneaking into places you weren’t supposed to go to and what not. Oh, what was her name?” 

Kitty is almost shouting now and Angelica has to resist the urge to shush her completely.

“Not so loud. Are you talking about Theodosia?” Angelica inquires blushing harder.

“Yes! That one! The famous Theodosia. What about her?” Kitty’s eyes light up in excitement.

“Well- I- I don’t- I guess- I mean-” Angelica stammers.

“You like her! You like her!” Kitty is now prancing around the room.

“Okay so what if I do? There is a slim to no chance that she feels the same way for me or would ever reciprocate if she did. It’s too risky to carry on a relationship. I won’t have her getting killed over me.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic. Aren’t you always saying that to me? Let a girl make her own decisions. Test the waters and see how she feels then decide whether you should risk your necks.”

“There’s a reason you’ve never met ‘the famous Theodosia’. She’s not allowed to the Hamilton estate any longer. How do you propose I ‘test the waters?’”

“Why, with one of your infamous plans of course.”

\---------------

Angelica avoids Philip for the rest of the week. Everytime he tries to engage her in conversation she sticks her nose in a book or pretends not to have heard. At meals she surrounds herself with Kitty or one of their parents. Finally after a few days, he is able to snag a seat next to her during dinner.

“Hello. Long time no see.” He says trying to strike up a conversation.

Angelica just huffs in reply and continues her conversation with Kitty.

_ When did the two of them become so chummy?  _ He thinks. After taking a few bites of his meal he tries again.

“Ange. Angie. Angelica.” On the last word he puts his hand on her arm and turns her towards him. She immediately rips her arm out of his grasp.

“Oh, so you finally have something to say to me?” She asks unamused.

“I’ve had something to say all week.” He protests. 

“Well unless it’s an apology I’m not interested.” She replies turning back to Kitty. “Where was I?”

“An apology? For what? For getting into college?” He demands incredulously. Small eyes around the table have turned to look at the commotion being cause by their siblings.

“I think you know exactly what I mean.” She responds without turning back around.

“You can’t ignore me forever.” It sounds like a challenge.

“Watch me.” She counters. 

“Is this really how you want my last few months spent here to go?” He questions.

“You made your bed, now lay in it.” She retorts.

They don’t speak for the rest of the meal.

\---------------

“You really need to fix that.” Kitty says nodding towards Angelica. “You’re worse than two dogs fighting over a bone. And I need your help with something for Angie so the sooner you make up the better.”

“What is there to fix? What should I apologize for? She won’t talk to me. She’s completely intransigent.” He pouts.

“Ooh, big word for the college boy. I think you’ll find if you really look ‘deep inside yourself’” she says in a mocking voice. “you’ll figure out what’s bothering your sister.”

“Why should I apologize for getting into college? She should be happy for me!” He exclaims.

“I think she is. But when you were applying to schools did you ever stop to tell your sister, your closest friend, of you plans? Did you ever think of how you leaving might affect her?”

“Oh.” He realizes, face visibly fallen.

“Yeah. So get out there and fix it.” Kitty adds giving him a shove.

\---------------

“Angie, can we talk?” Philip asks approaching his siter in the hallway. He’s tentative; he doesn’t want to set her off again.

“Do you have something substantial to say?” Angelica demands.

“I’m sorry.” He pauses for a moment hoping Angelica will say something. When she doesn’t he trudges on. “I guess in the whirlwind of applying to King’s I forgot to tell you I was going to college. I guess I didn’t really think about you in all of this.”

“Thank you. I accept your apology. I’m sorry I’ve been so standoffish.”

“Really?” He inquires, surprised. 

“Yeah that’s all you had to say.” She replies.

An awkward silence ensues before either can think of anything else to say.

“So Kitty said you were formulating a plan and you needed my help?” Philip blurts.

“About that... Philip? Can I talk to you? In a more private space?” Angelica requests, voice going soft.

“Sure Angie.” Philip responds as Angelica leads him into their father’s study. After checking to make sure one of the younger children isn’t hiding in the room she closes the door. “What’s up?”

“Um... I don’t really know how to say this or where to start. Did Kitty tell you what we were doing?” She inquires hoping that he may already know what she needs to say. 

“No she just mentioned I may need to talk to you first.”

“Right, well, about that...” Angie clears her throat. It’s Philip. If Kitty can be supportive, Philip can. He’s always been right by her side when she needed him. “Well, I’m not like other girls.”

“Yeah I gathered that. You’re so much weirder.” He jokes.

“No, Philip, this is serious.” She says locking eyes with her brother.

Philip forces the emotion off his face.

“Philip I... I prefer girls... romantically and... sexually.” The sentence seems to hang in the air forever before Philip replies. 

“Oh that? I’ve known that for forever. It’s pretty obvious.” He laughs but starts to backtrack as Angelica’s face becomes nervous. “It’s obvious to me because I know you so well. I’m sure others can’t tell.”

“But you don’t mind? You don’t mind that your sister is a sodomite? An abomination?”

“Who told you you were an abomination? Where are they? I’ll fight them!” Angelica’s face is still worried so Philip quickly adds. “Of course I don’t mind Angie. I love you. No matter what. You could be purple, have three heads and absolutely adore Thomas Jefferson and I would still love you.”

“Thanks Philip. I love you too.”

They embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was supposed to be longer but it was taking me forever and I wanted to give you guys an update. I promise the next chapter has Theodosia in it (I've already written some of it). I hope the next update comes sooner for you guys.


	7. Dearest Theodosia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm really sorry it has taken me this long to update. My last semester at school was harder than the previous leaving me less time to write. I am now on Summer break however and fully plan to pick this back up again.

“Well, we have to get her to come out in public without the watchful eye of her father.” Kitty schemes as the three are sitting down to breakfast the next day.

“I don’t think they ever go anywhere without each other, nor do they have any regular business in the city. What do you propose, that we just stand in the square everyday and wait for an opportunity?” Angelica asks.

“An opportunity for what?” Philip inquires only just now joining the conversation.

“Cat wants me to rekindle my friendship with Theodosia.” Angelica answers.

“I’d like you to do more than that.” Kitty remarks matter-of-factly.

Philip screws up his mouth into an obvious “yuck” face.

Ignoring Philip, Kitty trudges on. “But no, I don’t believe we’ll have to stand about in the square all day. While he may not have official business in the town, people often go regularly for grocer’s items and other perishables. All we have to do is a bit of reconnaissance. Then I’ll distract Senator Burr while Angelica speaks to Theodosia.”

“Or you could just slip Theodosia a note.” Philip suggests. At the look of puzzlement he receives from both girls he continues. “Angie could write Theo a note asking her to meet somewhere private the next day without her father and then wait to see if she comes.”

“I suppose... I already had a script planned...” Kitty whines.

“No, it’s perfect Philip. Thank you.” Angelica smiles. “Tomorrow, we do reconnaissance.”

\---------------

“Tell Lydia I said ‘hello’!” Kitty calls walking out of the grocer’s shop.

“Who’s Lydia? Nevermind.” Angelica shakes her head. “Any luck?”

“Actually, Yes.” Kitty answers looking smug. “The old man was very forthcoming when he knew he was in the presence of Angelica Schuyler.”

“You didn’t.” Philip says dumbfounded.

“Of course I did! We’re spies. We have to take reconnaissance seriously! You are taking this seriously?” Kitty’s face flushes in anger as Philip and Angelica double over with laughter.

“Of course- we’re- taking this seriously.” Angelica pants. “I didn’t know you were so invested.”

“Of course I’m invested.” Kitty grows embarrassed as Philip is able to regain his composure. “So invested in fact that I know the Burrs visit the grocer’s shop-”

“Every Thursday.” Kitty and Angelica finish in unison.

“We learned as much from the poulter as well.” Angelica adds. “So now all we have to do is wait.”

“And you need to write a letter.”

\---------------

_ Dearest Theodosia, _

_ I have missed you these many months. I find that life is not complete without your  _

_ sweet spirit. I hope you have been well and advancing in your studies. I am now  _

_ fluent in French and while my parents wish me to learn Latin, my heart yearns  _

_ to speak the Spanish tongue. As you may know, my aunt, Angelica Schuyler, _

_ recently moved back to our new nation, bringing along my cousin Catherine. _

_ Cat has decided to stay on and continue her studies in the city. But what of  _

_ you? Have you faired well in our time a part? I hope to hear more from you. _

_ Would you consider meeting me on the southeast edge of the city at noon _

_ Tuesday next? I have matters I would like to discuss with you in person. You  _

_ know the place, the old hideout we used after political rallies.  _

_ I hope to see you. _

_ Adieu, _

_ A Hamilton _

\---------------

“Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?” Inquires Kitty innocently looking up at the taller man. 

They’re standing outside the poulterer's shop. It’s Thursday and after having checked to make sure that Theodosia was accompanying him, Kitty set out to divert the senator long enough for Angelica to slip her letter to Theodosia. 

“Why don’t I go inside and get the meat?” Theodosia offers.

Her father nods as Kitty launches questions at the senator. 

Angelica and Philip, already inside the poulterer's shop, wait for Theodosia to order the meat then make their way to the front of the store. Philip takes a position guarding the door while Angelica goes to talk to Theodosia. At first her mouth won’t move to form a sound.

Finally she speaks. “Theodosia, it’s been too long.”

Theodosia whips around to face the younger girl. “Angie!” She screams launching herself at Angelica. Surprised, Angelica lets herself be hugged for a moment before hugging back. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too Theo.” Then breaking apart Angelica adds. “I don’t want to get you in trouble with your father so, here.”

“It looks like Kitty’s losing him. Hurry it up, Angie.” Philip reports. 

Theodosia takes the letter. “Thank you. I hope to see you again soon.”

“Me too.” 

Then, taking the meat and planting a chaste kiss on Angelica’s cheek, Theodosia is out the door.

Angelica watches as she tears her father from Kitty’s conversation. After their carriage passes she steps out into the sunny day.

\---------------

“You look happy.” Kitty comments as they walk back from the city. “I guess it went well.”

“Theodosia kissed her.” Philip replies.

“Just on the cheek.” Angelica blushes.

“Ooooo.” Kitty mocks light-heartedly.

Angelica gives kitty a light shove and the three laugh and horseplay all the way back to the house.

When they arrive dinner is waiting for them.

“Your father and I received an invitation from the Burrs to attend a dinner party two fridays from tomorrow.” Eliza announces. “We will be attending. He invited your mother as well Kitty, having learned she was back on this side of the world. Since she will not be able to attend we thought it prudent that you come in her stead- it will introduce you to our society and it is great practice for when you’re older.”

“It would be my pleasure to attend.”

“Good. That’s settled. Now let’s eat.”

\---------------

“Are you excited?” Angelica wonders as the girls are getting ready for bed. 

“About?” Kitty replies.   
“The party. I’ve never been. I would be excited.”

“You’re excited because Theodosia will be there. You’d hate parties; they’re everything you loathe.”

“You’ve been before?”

“My mother dragged me to quite a few when we lived in London.” Kitty Sighs. “I do wish you were going with me. No one our age will be in attendance besides Theodosia and I can’t monopolize the hostess’ time.”

“Do you think Aaron Burr will remember you?” Angelica asks with a giggle.

“Oh God!” Kitty exclaims with a laugh. “Maybe. I can’t even remember what I said. Anyway he’ll probably just chalk it up to me being my mother’s daughter.”

They are quiet for a moment as they stare at the dark ceiling.

“When does Philip leave?” Kitty asks tentatively. 

“Next Saturday.” Angelica’s voice in tinged in sadness.

“So soon?”

“Father wants him to get settled at the college before summer classes begin in May.”

They are quiet again for a long time before the bid each other good night.

\---------------

The next week passes like molasses on a hot day. By the time Tuesday rolls around, Angelica feels like she might squirm out of her skin with anxiety. An hour before noon, she makes her excuses and takes Philip’s horse to the southeast edge of the city. After tying the horse to a nearby tree she makes her way through the trees to a small one room cabin. Inside she finds the place just as they left it last summer. At the north end of the cabin lies a brick fireplace black with soot from the previous residents. There’s a wooden desk and chair in the corner looking out onto a small clearing in the forest. And on the other side of the room, a plain looking dresser sits next to a rickety four poster bed with tattered sheets.  

After starting a fire, Angelica pulls the chair out onto the small porch-like area so she can see if someone approaches. However, her nerves manage to get the better of her and she begins to pace back and forth, turning her speech over in her head.

By the time she feels as if she’s gotten it close to perfect it’s nearly noon. Angelica goes back inside and lays out a picnic Kitty helped her put together for the occasion. After preparing she sits down again on the porch, crossing and uncrossing her legs. She waits... and waits. 

And waits.

_ Maybe she’s just late. Maybe she couldn’t get away from her house. _

_ Maybe she never wanted to see you. _

_ Maybe her father detained her. Maybe she got caught. _

_ Maybe she never liked you in the first place. _

By the time two o’clock rolls around Angelica finally decides that Theodosia isn’t coming. She douses the fire packing the untouched picnic she brought back into her saddlebag, leaving the cabin. Making her way back home she tries not to think too much about the afternoon or Theodosia. Of course, it doesn’t work. Her mind is so plagued with thoughts that she misses a crucial turn and has to go back a mile to reach home.

It’s only when she dismounts from the horse and sits down in the stable that she realizes the heat on her face is from freshly shed tears. Even if Theodosia hadn’t been romantically attracted to her; she was still her friend. And there was no way the information Angelica wished to discuss could have offend her; she hadn’t heard it yet. 

_If she truly is a friend wouldn’t she still want to see me?_ _Or has she grown weary of my family in our time a part?_ _But she seemed so happy to see me in the poulterer's shop. What changed?_

\---------------

Kitty finds Angelica in the stable. She was about to go searching for the girl when she hadn’t come home, only to find her here, with red streaks down her face. Kitty doesn’t make a sound. She just sits down next to Angelica letting her cry on her shoulder and tentatively strokes her hair. They stay like that for about an hour before Kitty starts to drag her into the house.

“It’s late. You don’t need to talk to me or see anyone but we need to go inside. Your mother will come looking for us in a short while.”

Angelica just nods and stands up, legs wobbly from being in the same position for so long. Kitty slowly walks Angelica up to her room, sitting her down on the bed before leaving again. She heads downstairs to find Eliza. It doesn’t take long; she nearly runs into her at the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh, Kitty! Was that you and Angelica coming into the house?”

“Yes aunt E, Angelica isn’t feeling too well, I was wondering if we could eat dinner in her room?

“Is everything alright?” The worry lines in Eliza’s face become clearer. She’s obviously been worrying excessively about something, most likely Alexander.

Kitty decides to keep Angelica’s situation to herself. “Of course, I think we’re both just tired.”

“Okay, I’ll have the cook send up your plates. If you need me or Alexander, you know where to find us.” 

\---------------

The night passes uneventfully; the girls mostly eat in silence and go to bed early. Kitty gets up earlier than usual the next day and spends it in the library, giving Angelica space. She isn’t surprised when her seat is empty at lunch but is worried when Angelica doesn’t come down for dinner. When Kitty returns from their room she finds Angelica where she left her, asleep in bed. Kitty sighs, blowing out the candle on her bedside and settles in for sleep.

\---------------

Kitty wakes ready. After dressing, she goes to find Philip. Unsurprisingly she finds him in the library, with a book.

“Come on.” She says beckoning him forward.

“Huh?” He asks sticking his head out from behind the book.

“Angelica’s a mess. We’re cheering her up.”

“What do you want me to do?” Philip is ready, already standing.

“Get her favorite books- the funny ones, the uplifting ones. Also get a pencil, some paper and the paints you never use. I’m going to the kitchen to get some food for a picnic and  _ chocolat _ . I’ll see if I can wrangle some more sweets out of the cooks.”

\---------------

Twenty minutes later the two return with their supplies. Kitty asks Philip to wait outside choosing to wake Angelica herself.

“Up ‘n’ at ‘em!” She yells, pulling the covers off the sleeping body in front of her. “Or whatever it is you Americans say.”

“Uhnn...” Angelica moans.

“You’re not even going to argue with me about how I am American? My, we are in a bad mood.”

After no response Kitty throws open the curtains.

“Uhnn...” Angelica groans again, turning over and covering her head with a pillow.

“Oh no you don’t.” Kitty says wrenching the pillow out of Angelica’s hands. “Come on lazybones, we have an exciting day planed. I gave you yesterday to sulk about but you don’t get anymore passes. Philip doesn’t have long until he heads for school and we are going to have a good time if it kills us.”

Angelica realizes she won’t be able to get rid of her cousin so she slowly turns over and sits up.

“Yay! Three cheers for Angelica! Philip and I will be waiting for you in the parlor. Make sure to wear something comfortable and warm.”

\---------------

When Angelica finally makes it down to the parlor, she is dressed in stockings, breeches, a loose shirt and frock, mitts and a long cape. The three make their way out of the house towards a small clearing of trees where the older Hamilton children had made a bonfire long ago. The place had been forgotten years ago. Kitty clears off a bit of snow, setting the blanket next to the pit, throwing firewood into the small pile in the center. Philip sets about starting the fire while Kitty lays the food out. After setting the food out, Kitty retrieves three long sticks from the surrounding tree line and brushes them off. After Philip sits down, having started the fire Kitty thrusts a piece of bread onto one of the sticks.

“So I was thinking about what the  _ chocolat _ might go well with and I came up with this.” Kitty explains.

She points the end with the bread at the fire letting it warm the bread before taking a piece of  _ chocolat _ and placing it on the bread. The  _ chocolat  _ begins to melt and seep into the bread. Once it’s cool to touch kitty takes a bite.

“Ooo! I was right! It’s delicious. Here Angie, have a bite!”

Angelica hesitates before taking the bread. But after tasting the wonderful combination her mood brightens the slightest amount.

“It is good.” Angelica confirms. “Here Philip, have some.”

Philip eagerly takes the rest of the bread and shoves it into his mouth. He almost spits it out because of the temperature.

“At’s ot!” He exclaims in pain and surprise.

“Yeah stupid! Why do you think we took small bites?” Kitty asks slapping him. “And that’s for eating the rest. This isn't a cheer up Philip day!”

\---------------

The rest of the day is spent toasting bread and eating  _ chocolat _ . Kitty, to Angelica’s surprise is incredibly good at imitating foreign accents and proceeds to read her favorite books in different dialects. Game is made where Philip paints something ridiculous and the girls guess what it could be. This is followed by a game of charades in which Kitty does an amazing impression of Thomas Jefferson and Philip joins in as James Madison. Somehow the three end up throwing the paints at each other leaving the snow a rainbow of colors. Angelica even manages to smile.

When they return their noses are red from cold, hair is tossed and all three are all too eager to chatter about the day’s activities over hot soup. No one is reluctant when it is suggested that they head to bed.

The last thing that runs through Angelica’s mind as she falls into bed is the picture of happiness plastered across her best friends’ faces.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry! I promise I haven't forgotten. This is short and unedited because I'm going on a trip without my computer. But It's also juicy! Hang on! I'll write more soon!

The next day is the day of the dinner party. Kitty doesn’t talk much about going unless she has too, because she’s less than excited but mostly so that Angelica doesn’t have to hear about the Burrs.

The three spend most of their day at lessons until they begin a snowball fight in the yard. Soon all the children join in. Alexander even gets involved when a snowball flies into the open window of his study and land on a letter he is writing.

It doesn’t take long for teams to form, Philip, Angelica and Kitty on one side with the smaller children on the other. But once Alexander Sr. join it turns into a kids vs. parent event. 

As Alexander runs from the little ones screaming “I was in the Army you know!” Kitty and Angelica join forces against Philip and Alex Jr. 

“You’ve been very quiet today.” Angelica comments.

“Not much to say.” Kitty shrugs as she hurls a snowball at Alex Jr.’s head. She misses.

“I know what you’re doing.” Angelica replies hitting Philip in the leg with a snowball. 

“Oh- yeah?” Kitty asks throwing a snowball at Alex. He ducks.

“Yeah, you would be chattering about the dinner party tonight but you’re not because you’re afraid that if I hear the word Burr come out of your mouth, I crawl right back under my sheet and be just where I was a few days ago. And then all your hard work will be for naught.” Turning to face Kitty.

“Yup. You hit the nail on the head.” Kitty nods aiming yet another snowball at a distracted Alex Jr. It hits him square in the face. She then faces Angelica.

“Well I want you to know, you can talk about the party. You can even talk about... Theodosia.” She says emphasising Theodosia’s name with an overly dramatic voice.

“Really? Because honestly it was killing me.” Just then a snowball snowball smacks them both on the check.

“Hey, stupids! I know gossip must be really interesting, but we’re playing a game here!” Alex calls.

“This is sooo not gossip!” Kitty calls just as Angelica screams: “You’re the idiot, pea-brain!”

The rest of the afternoon dissolves into giggles, curses and the chaos of whirling snowballs.

\---------------

After they both dusted the snow off and changed into dry clothes, the girls set about getting Kitty ready for the party.

“You know I’m completely useless at this stuff.” Angelica remarks.

“Yes but you’re good company.” Kitty replies from the closet. She rummages around until she finds three dresses and holds them up for Angelica.

“They all look the same.” Angelica drones.

“Ugh! You just like men! You never-”

“The purple one then.”

“I’ll have you know that dress is violet.” Kitty puts two of the dresses back and keeps hold of a yellow dress, which she starts to slip into.

“If you we’re going to choose the “butter yellow” one the entire time why make me choose?” Angelica demands.

“Ha! I knew you had the sense to know colors! And besides it’s fun to watch you get frustrated.”

“This is why I hate you!” Angelica says a smiling playing at the edge of her mouth.

“No darling, this is why you love me!” Kitty declares jumping up on the bed and striking a dramatic pose. Her pose isn’t stable however and she falls over. The girls dissolve into laughter. 

After a good twenty minutes of giggles and another hour of primping Kitty is finally ready.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay here? I can tell Aunt E that I’m not feeling well or-” Kitty starts.

“After all that preparation! Hell no, you have to go!” Angelica replies. “Really, it’s okay. I think I’m over Theodosia.”

After an unconvinced look Angelica adds. “Besides, I have Philip to can keep me company. I can help him pack. Lord knows he’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached to his shoulders.”

“Yeah well, if I see that Theodosia I might just give her a piece of my mind, that no-good-”

“No! Please Cat, don’t. Don’t go to all that trouble on my behalf. Honestly, and anyhow no one can know about me and my... situation.”

“Okay.” Kitty sighs. Heading downstairs leaving Angelica to herself.

\---------------

Kitty rides silently to the party. Upon arrival she is greeted by Theodosia and Mr. Aaron Burr himself. Burr seems to recognize her but doesn’t say anything in front of the Hamiltons. Kitty greets Theodosia with just enough warmth to not be considered rude and continues to ignore her throughout choosing to sit next to Eliza and Governor Clinton. She didn’t talk non-stop like her usual self, instead decidedly staying quiet. 

After the dinner the guest started mingling together, talking to those they hadn’t had a chance to speak with earlier.

“Do my eyes deceive me or are you the young lady I was accosted by a few weeks ago at the market?” Aaron Burr asks pleasantly approaching Kitty.

“That was me, sir. Catherine Schuyler Church at your service.”

“Ah, you’re Angelica’s girl. Funny I didn’t see it before, that conversation at the market was very like her. I can tell you’ll be a lady will and smarts to look out for.”

“Thank you sir.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” He says drifting back into the sea of guests.

“You’re Kitty Church, Angelica’s cousin?”

Kitty whirls around to find Theodosia Burr in her midsts.

“Oh, the Angelica you don’t seem to give a damn about? Does three years of friendship and loyalty mean nothing to you?” Kitty angrily whispers.

“Look- Come on,” Theodosia drags Kitty into a small room, resembling a study. Closing the door she starts again. “Look I wanted to come, alright? I really did. And I can understand that Angie would be mad at me.”

Kitty scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“You have no idea what it’s like living here! My father watches me day and night, I’m always at lessons or prayer, I never have time to myself, let alone time to devise a plan to get out of here! I am sorry. Believe me I want to see Angie and Philip more than anything. Maybe even get to know you. But for know I have to settle for this.” Theodosia pulls a letter out of a hidden pocket in her dress. “My father is going to host many more of these dinner parties. And as long as Alexander doesn’t do something completely foolish, the Hamilton family will continue to be invited. From what I can tell you made a great impression on my father the other day, which means you will be invited back as well.”

“So what?”

“So, Angelica and I will be able to send letters back and forth through you.”

“And what if she doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore?”

“Then so be it. But giver her the letter before she makes any decisions. Please, try to get her to read it.”

“I still don’t like you.” Kitty mutters taking the letter. “But I’ll give her the letter.”

“Thank you Kitty. You won’t regret it.”

“I better not. And call me Cat.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so so so so x infinity sorry for the wait. My life is amazing hectic right now. If you're still reading this after all this time I thank you. I can't promise it won't take me this long to post another chapter but I surely hope not. This one is short but... eventful (It's happy!). Anyway enjoy!

Angelica is asleep in her bed when Kitty returns. She decides to wait until the morning, after Philip has departed to give Angelica the letter.

The morning is all hustle to get Philip up and in the carriage towards school. The family lines up say goodbye and Philip lingers to say a long farewell to Angelica and Kitty.

“Now you two don’t get into too much trouble while I’m away,” he says hugging his cousin “And I promise to write everyday.”

Philip places a brotherly kiss on Angelica’s cheek.

“Don’t strain yourself.” Angelica replies wryly.

Philip just rolls his eyes and mutters “Every week at least,” before kissing his mother one last time and climbing into the carriage.

Angelica tries not to feel the void he has already made in leaving. She wishes she too was going into the city on the great adventure of education with her best friend. But she knows Kitty will do her best to try to make up for the empty space.

After the carriage is no longer in sight Angelica solemnly turns back towards the house. She is however, stopped in her tracks by a grinning Kitty.

“I thought you might like to have this.” Kitty says handing Angelica Theodosia's note. “I nearly walloped her for what she did to you but never the less I restrained myself.”

Angelica stared at the faded piece of parchment in her hand.  _ Could it really be from Theodosia? _

“Well, go on, open it!” Kitty urges.

Angelica quickly scans the letter before pulling Kitty to the side of the house and slowly reads it aloud.

_ Dearest Angelica, _

_ My heart too yearns for your presence and the summer days when we fought injustice. My dear, I am so sorry that I neglected you that Tuesday. My father watches me like a bird of prey and I fear I cannot go out without his presence. When he is not here I am caught in studies with my tutors. I truly wish I could have seen you once more, nothing else would bring my heart more joy. However, I have devised a way in which we might be able to communicate. My father plans to have many more dinners such as the one your cousin was invited to. He seems to have taken quite a liking to her. If she is willing we can pass our letters through her. _

_ I cannot wait until I hear from you again. I hope you can forgive my transgressions. _

_ Theo. Burr _

 

A moment of silence hangs in the air before Angelica cracks the biggest smile Kitty has seen her give in the longest of whiles. Soon they’re both screaming with glee and dancing in a circle.

“So I suppose that’s a yes for you then?” Angelica asks when they’ve calmed down.

“Are you kidding? Of course! I’m your little spy. Passing letters back and forth through enemy lines. It’s so exciting!” Kitty exclaims.

“Well then, you just need to continue to get invited to Senator Burr’s parties.

“I don’t think that will be a problem.” Kitty grins slyly.

\---------------

The letters pour in on both sides. Burr starts to make his dinners a weekly event which works to everyone's favor. So much so that the three girls are able to work out a plan to sneak Angelica into Burr’s house.

Angelica sneaks into Philip’s room as the rest of the adults are getting ready for their weekly visit to the Burr manor. Looking in the closet she finds a note that reads

_ Dear Ange, _

_ I knew you would come in here sooner or later so I left you a few outfits in your size. _

_ Enjoy and good luck, _

_ Philip Hamilton _

 

Chuckling to herself she gets dressed in men’s clothing; something that comes back naturally as she is flooded with sense-memories of political rallies and running late at night though the woods of New York.

Just as planned, one hour after Kitty and the adults leave, Angelica sneaks downstairs and through the kitchens to the stables. She unties and mounts a horse, pointing it in the direction of the Burr residence. She dismounts a good ways away from the home, and stealthily makes her way to the back where a servant has been paid to let her in through the kitchens.

\---------------

Kitty leaves that night with anticipation. Her spy skills will be put to the test. All the way to the burr place she goes over what she will say to divert attention so that Theodosia can sneak into a room and meet with Theodosia.

When the time comes she is ready. She does her part with ease. The feeling of all those eyes on her isn’t new; she commands the rapt attention of everyone in the room as she speaks eloquently about her father’s work and Burr’s generosity. When she is done, no one even notices the absence of their hostess, they are too focused on Kitty Church.

\---------------

Angelica can faintly hear Kitty’s voice as she follows the servant from the kitchens to a small back room lined with books. The only piece of furniture other than the bookshelves is a small couch in the middle of the room. She doesn’t have to wait long before another door opens and the slim figure of Theodosia appears before her. Upon seeing her Theodosia throws her arms around Angelica. The embrace last longer than customary; there is something in it that both girls know and neither has to express. 

“You’ve gotten taller.” Theodosia says, though she is still slightly taller than Angelica.

“As have you.” Angelica replies.

“The pictures in my mind do not do you justice. I have missed your smile.”

Angelica’s smile grows. “I’ve missed you so Theo-”

“It’s been unbearable these last few years-”

“Kitty does what she can but she’s not you-”

“It’s so good to see you again-”

They stop talking over each other and smile looking at each other.

“There was something I left unsaid-” Angelica begins.

Theodosia puts a finger to the other girl’s lips. “Hush. There is no need. We don’t have much time. And I already know.”

“So...?” Angelica trails off.

In answer Theodosia takes Angelica’s face in her hands and presses her lips, open-mouthed, to the the other girl’s. Angelica doesn’t hesitate, opening her mouth and deepening the kiss. She places her hand on the back of Theodosia’s head tangling her fingers in Theodosia’s soft hair. The kiss is sloppy at first as they struggle to find a suitable position, eventually sitting down on the couch.

Theodosia pulls back as Angelica gasps for air.

“Well I guess that answers my question.” Angelica says regaining her composure.

“You’re comma placement said enough.” Theodosia giggles. “But now you have to go before they discover us. We’ll have to do this again soon.”

With one last peck on the lips Theodosia whips out of the room and back to the party.

\---------------

The same servant that lead Angelica into the room leads her out. She buzzes with electricity as she rides back to the house. Lying in bed that night she continuously touches her lips and imagines the feel of her fingers in Theodosia’s hair until she falls, contently, asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please feel free to leave comments, kudos and/or critiques! Please feel free to holla at me on tumblr @whoareyouiamhugh


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